Africa's "By Force" Westernization

                                             
Hi guys! Ever felt sexually harassed when someone sags and you can see their buttocks? Ever been molested in the name of pecking as a form of greeting? Ever felt bad for someone who keeps forcing "abroad" accent? LOL. If you answered yes to any of those questions, please watch this webisode and of course, SUBSCRIBE!!!

Girls: Relationship Turnoffs/Romance Deal Breakers

This is the part 2 I promised a month ago. I address relationship turnoffs from a guy's perspective:

1. Dirty woman: woman, your underwear is torn. Overwear is torn. Clothes are dirty. You now look battered shattered tattered haggard.

2. 24/7 scantily clad woman. I have seen girls even trying to wear skimpy stuff in winter. Really???

3. Overly made up woman. Please don't look like a masquerade all the time. Let your face breathe.

4. Insecure, loud and violent woman. Not only men are aggressive. There are aggressive women too. Ladies, if you see your man talking to another girl, terminator 3 mode activated! Rachettness.

5. Dependent woman. Carry your money to restaurant on your date. Offer to split the check. Don’t always ask men to bring

6. Woman who bombards social media with photos and life history. If you now breakup, you’ll look like a serial dater.

7. Still keep pursuing individual interests. Because we are now dating, I’m mary and you're Joseph, our facebook accounts need not be MaryandJoseph Adeyemi. or maryandjosephadeyemi@gmail.com. We have to wear aso-ebi/uniform everyday everywhere. Why? Are we siamese twins? Don't be too clingy!

8. Ladies who form. Don’t try to be what you’re not because you think that’s what the guy likes. if you can’t sweep, you can’t. period. If you’re an nkwobi and ewedu chic, don’t form pasta and shawarma. Ewedu is actually healthier than sharwarma.

9. Ladies who front and keep keeping guys in suspense. It’s either yes or no. This is 2015. We’re not gonna do the suspense thing. Playing hard to get is so 1990.

How Some (African) Guys Handle Rejection

In this one, Kemi discusses horrible ways guys handle rejection. It's not like I want to be dissing guys all the time o.

1. See a girl you like at church, she "friendzones" you, then you start spreading lies about her. She’s gay. She has a spiritual husband. Really???

2. Dissing the girl on social media/internet. Posting her nude pics.

3. Asking for gifts back -- gifts you gave her during the relationship while the love was hot.

4. Planning revenge. How can I get back at her? How can I teach her a lesson?

5. Giving stupid reasons why she should still date you.

What you need to do is ignore. The person rejected you or dumped you. Guess what? Ignoring her is the best revenge. Acknowledging a problem gives it credibility, so don't acknowledge.

Also, learn from your rejections and improve yourself. If you are aware of your mistakes that led to you being rejected, improve your skills and learn to be better. Climb out of rejection like a champion!

Boys: Relationship Turnoffs/Romance Deal Breakers

If you are a man who has been trying to get a lady to be your date, especially this love season, and she keeps saying no -- read this...

Possible reasons for this rejection:

- A dirty unkempt cave-like looking man.....yikes!

- A man who is not fashionable....haha!

- A man who bathes with cologne.....Mscheeew!

- A man who is aggressive...hell no!

- A man who is controlling....no no no!

- A Man who gives observations rather than compliments

- A dependent man....why oh why???

Kemi's Top Six Social Media Don'ts

Kemi addresses social media don'ts in this webisode. Nigerians over-abbreviate, fight on social media, take too many selfies...and I thought I'd address these things. OK not just Nigerians. Some non-Nigerian Africans do it too. Enjoy :)

1. Stop insulting people on social media. Stop fighting under posts. Some people then create multiple profiles because they have destroyed their reputation under one. Have fun on social media. Relax. It’s an entertaining platform.

2. Stop dropping useless unrelated comments under posts. Must you say “first to comment” or “first to gboriwole?”

3. Stop taking too many selfies. Especially at work


4. Stop using too many abbreviations. HBD. GGMUB. LLNP. HML. HIV.

5. Please flaunt your relationship symmetrically. "Le boo, Honey of life just bought me earring. #bae said yes. So what if she said no? Tell me that too! Make your openness balanced! If una wan open fowl yarnsh, expose am completely.

6. Proofread your posts before sharing with the public. You post error-filled statuses and you look very silly.

Attitudes to Drop in 2015

1. Pessimism. Negativity. No matter how many good things people do or want to do, pessimists always find a way to put it down.

Scenario: "Oh I just bought a car." Then, out of nowhere:"meeeen did u read about that fatal car accident?" 

Really? You wanna talk about a fatal car accident right now?? I empathize with the victims, but your timing is very awkward. Americans call you "Debbie Downer." Someone who frequently adds bad news and negative feelings to a gathering, thus bringing down the mood of everyone around them. They don't see anything good in any situation or person.

2. Don't be a bandwagon jumper -- "everyone is doing it." You will do anything as long as you can point to a few other people who have done it. You put little or no thought at all in the things you do. If Nicki Minaj is wearing it, you must wear it. If Kim K is rocking it, you must rock it as well. You have no mind of your own and of course reach for more than you can pull. Brazillian hair. Check. Malaysian hair. Check. And you can’t afford these things.

3. Don't be Judgmental. Brother Kunle entered  Sister Titi’s room at 10pm yesterday and didn’t come out until 6am this morning. We must therefore stone Sister Titi. First of all, why are you stalking them? Second, why are you judging them?

4. Don't be proud (I’m better than everyone else). You are better than the rest of us in every way imaginable and there's nothing we can do to change that fact. You drive a lexus, a mercedes benz, and an escalade. You only enter first class. So the rest of us in economy, we should go and die??

5. Don't be a chameleon. We don’t know your true color or true calling. You adapt to every situation because you are desperate. You become a pretender. At church on Sunday you are in the choir. You are at the mosque on Friday too! On Monday night you are at the red light district.

6. Don't be overly religious. If person "do" mistake listen to Davido’s song, the person has sinned. If person watch Cameron Diaz movie, hell fire!! There's a difference between religion and faith o. Please don't get those two mixed up.

7. Don't be an "I don’t want to lose my culture” person. To you, eating pizza is a sin. We must eat amala for breakfast. Semo for lunch. Ekuru for dinner. We must travel back home once a month. Please why bother to come to America???

8. Don't be a party freak. Everyday, turn up. You’re always available. Graduation party, you. Wedding party, you. Funeral, you. Naming ceremony, you. Coronation of the Awujale of Ijebuland, you. Eyo masquerade, you will carry.

9. Don't be a social media freak. Instagram is your private diary. "I just woke up. I’m going to the bathroom. My husband just hugged me. I’m drinking water. I’m balling. I’m going to the gym." REALLY???

10. Don't be overly knowledgeable. You know the exact date and time the cold war started and ended. And if someone doesn't know the name of the president of Burma, he/she will become a nonentity in your eyes.As far as you are concerned, pi is not just 3.142, pi is 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510