Nigerians are a very interesting people (unarguably). Yes, I am Nigerian. This is why I chose to address common stereotypes and myths that follow us in my fourth webisode: a. We are proud and full of ourselves and think we're better than everyone else. b. We party a lot. Like every week. For no reason. c. We have a distinct interesting (and maybe funny) accent. (yes we do!) d. We are all scammers and can’t be trusted. e. We are all from Lagos. f. We have an insatiable need to show off. An undying urge. g. We are loud and we put “o” at the end of every statement. h. We all speak pidgin i. Nigerians don’t emulate western culture wisely. j. (My personal favorite) Overboard weddings
Every unmarried West African woman of a certain age has experienced pressure from people. Pressure to date, marry, or get engaged to someone quickly. My third webisode addresses this pressure.
Ways People Can Annoy You:
1. They call you. Ask you questions like: How’s the brother? When will the wedding bells ring? They make you second guess yourself and feel little and incomplete and invisible. These people may have good intentions, but their delivery is inconvenient.
2. The numerous calls and pressure can make you lose focus on school or work or your goals. People will tell you, “No matter how much success you have, you must still end up under a man.”
3. This pressure leads to desperation. You become desperate to find someone and eventually, you could end up with the wrong person. You might end up settling for less than you deserve. You might end up with a messed up man who will lock you in the basement and feed you from a tube. Or even an abuser -- he will beat you like a drum!
For many Africans, a female is always seen as a child until she marries and starts "borning" kids. Only marriage can warrant “adulthood” status.
How To Deal With The Marriage Pressure
1. Block the caller’s number. Block them from every social media.
2. Become a statistician: “Oh, Aunty, 20% of my friends who got married in their early 20s are already getting a divorce! 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime. Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners. Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence. Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.”
3. Focus on yourself. Do things that make you happy. Live. Laugh. Love. Volunteer for a good cause. Don’t be idle lest you get sad. Throw yourself out there. Get busy. Find ways to develop yourself. Take cooking classes. Learn a new language if you’ve always wanted to. Enroll for graduate school classes. There are some interesting things you will learn about yourself if you will stop obsessing over finding a man.
African time. Colored People's Time (CPT). We've all heard about these labels. Why? Why do Africans dignify their lateness by calling it a name?
On my second webisode, I discuss five annoying habits of African Immigrants in the U.S. (or maybe also in Canada, U.K., Australia, or any other Western country Africans go to these days). Here are some of our bad habits that I address:
1. Pathological lateness
2. Asking people to take things home for you and/or bring things from home when you go visit.
3. African immigrants (men) telling African immigrants (women) to date them for green card and/or citizenship.
4. The "my wife must be a slave mentality."
5. Interracial relationships
As usual, don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel. Live. Love. Laugh.
I love barbecues. I love get-togethers. It's nice to unwind in the summer after a long work week. At one of these barbecues I went to, we were all Africans. And we were all laughing and talking about the ups and downs of the West, our hopes of turning Africa around, and how we dream of moving back home in the end (it's a dream!) But during one of our heated conversations, someone steps out to make a phone call. He should not have stepped out. Most of us (West Africans), even when we step out to make/receive a phone call, the people we leave behind will still hear (not overhear) our loud voice. So this man is talking on the phone: "My brother, we are at a barbecue o. We are chopping life. We are eating. We are all happy. We do this everyday in the Summer. We eat, drink, laugh, talk." Now, he wasn't entirely lying. Yes. We eat. We drink. We are happy (sometimes). My problem with his conversation is that he was exaggerating. And sometimes, when you over-exaggerate, you become a liar.
Africans in the West, please don’t lie to folks back home. The American dream is exactly what it is, it’s a dream. This is why I address the most ridiculous things I have heard people say about America, in my pilot webisode:
a. Every immigrant is rich.
b. There are no poor people in America
c. There is no dust in America (really???)
d. There are good jobs everywhere.
e. Everywhere is cold, and it snows constantly everywhere.
Please watch my webisodes. Subscribe to my YouTube channel (kemisaidso), and keep coming back to my blog!
