Africans: Some Sanitary Measures

In this webisode, I chose to address personal hygiene and some measures we Africans can take to keep ourselves clean:

1. Team natural hair -- Team #solangeknowles. Team Chimamanda Adichie. Please comb your natural hair. Do a twist out. Wash it. Whatever. Don’t look like Tarzan or George of the jungle. Americans already think we are from the jungle. What will they think when they see you looking unkempt? Please save us and our reputation.

2. Team white -- typically after wearing a white shirt or white pants once, they're stained. You have to wash them. Now, if you wash whites with other colors, whites will likely be stained. It will now turn to orange or brown. Or maybe the rest of the shirt will be white and then the armpit part will be brown because you’ve been wearing it over and over without washing it. No!

3. Team eye boogers -- Please wash your face in the morning. Some people go as far as taking a selfie and adding hash tag "I woke up like this." Hash tag "flawless." Ain't nothing flawless about you! Please, the first thing to do before coming out to interact with other human beings is wash your face and brush your teeth. So unless there’s an emergency, or there’s an ambulance outside your door waiting to carry you to a hospital, do not come out of your house without washing your face. There's a difference between looking natural and looking dirty.

4. Team tallons -- Unnecessarily long and dirty nails. Then the nails start harboring all kinds of bacteria, virus, fungi. Hand sanitizers don’t replace washing hands with soap and water. If you wash your hands regularly, dirt won’t gather under your nails. Trim your nails if you can’t maintain long nails.

5. Team smelly. 

 a. Ladies, hairy/smelly armpit. Why? Ladies, shave your armpit. And there’s nothing cool about wearing a sleeveless top or dress and your armpit looks like animal fur. And please use deodorants too.

b. Smelling like food -- Like fish, goat, jollof rice. We are Africans, and we cook with spices. But shut your bedroom doors when you’re cooking so that the smell of food doesn't stick on your clothes. And occasionally open the window and let fresh air in so that you won't choke in the smell of your own food. Don't smell like garlic at the gym. Don't smell like jollof rice at church!!

African Party Etiquette

We all love African parties -- the music, the food, the dancing. But some people misbehave. So I have decided to address that. What to do and what not to do at parties:

1. Don’t be a "Long Throat:" Stop overeating and taking too much food to go at parties. Some people act like they've never seen food before -- even educated people who ought to be enlightened.

2. Act as if you're a host, not a guest. Reach out to people standing by themselves. Mingle. Don’t be tribalistic. Don’t not talk to someone because you think they’re not Yoruba or Igbo or Nigerian.

3. Don’t be rude and nasty and carry a "long face" around. We know you have bills to pay. We all do. We know you have mortgage and car loan. But please you’re not the only one in the world with issues. Be pleasant, be cheerful, smile, and mingle, no matter what mood you're in. If you've had a bad day, don't rain on anyone else's parade by talking about your negative experience — unless, of course, you want people to run away from you.

4. Listen more than you talk: You have two ears and one mouth. Use them in that proportion. Ratio 2:1. Nothing is more annoying than when your voice will be the loudest at a party. Don’t act like you're an "ITK" (I Too Know). Listen to others and entertain other people’s opinions.

5. Avoid making negative comments on the room, the food, the host, other attendees: Don't be a "nothing satisfies me" kind of person. The jollof rice is not red enough. The egusi soup has too much egusi inside. The gele of the host is too big. Or you might be the one who talks about everyone who walks around: “Meeeen, that woman has bleached and her knuckles are so black.” Just mind your business and be thankful that you have food to eat!! Stop making negative comments!